It's Life

It's life ... life is like a book that is full with stories

The moment...
On this 22.10 marks the day when I tender my resignation. 'einstein' didn't say much but accepted it. That is easy to handle. But couple of minutes later 'bb' ask me to go to his room for talk. Well, I end up guilty and sleepless night for the whole weekend.
Anyway, I have a lot of reasons why I decided to go. First of all, 'old man' had asked me and gave me enough time to think of it before telling him. He can meet my demand for salary too. Couple years ago, he ever ask me to go over his department. Although he promise promotion and increment if I go over, I rejected him and introduce my friend to work with him. Reason is because I still wants to handle my 'baby' and I still have plenty to learn from 'bb'. Other reasons, only 'old man' knows and he understand the conflict that I have with someone.
It is suppose to be me and 'einstein' to leave the team only. But it turns out that 'einstein' make a 360 degree turn. At first, I'm really annoyed. From what I can see, tsunami will happen because of that.
My fear came to reality when two people tender their resignation. I started to feel guilty because I know that I will tender mine very soon. For me, there's no more turning back. I can't dissapoints 'old man' just because of some people make a comeback. His last words 'i trust u' makes no u-turn for me. Also, I've given my words and promise that I will go over. Do not make a promise you cannot do. That's my principle and I'm a person of my words. Personally, I think its time that I explore more and learn more other things.
Then things, start to change. The people management that 'einstein' have is really contradicts with my way. I can't understand what he wants. For me, what he wants change so rapidly. I cannot understand what he want me to do. At that point, I know that I make the right choice. There's some issues happening at that time. Several emails and verbal talk about it every day. But 'einstein' still do not know what is the issue. 'bb' seems to know and understand the issues more although I'm reporting to 'einstein'.
When I tender my resignation to 'einstein', he said something that makes a total no way back for me. Maybe its the communication skill that he lacks of. That point, I feel that the team doesn't need me as much as 'old man'. Further, I cannot work with a boss where I can't understand his need or demand. His direction is not firm. Whether or not he really understand the situation, he will always say understand. I will not excel when I'm being pressured to do things other people's method.
On the week I'm suppose to tender my resignation, few people call me up. I'm really surprise. They told me not to say where I go and just say whatever but not where I wants to go. 'old man' did tell me not to mention but he didn't pressure me much. The few calls from unexpected people really pressured me. I told 'old man' about the calls and he is surprise. I told him i feel pressured and stress with all this b_llsh_t thing. He just tell me to be relax and if things get out of hand, just don't talk.
'bb' didn't take my resignation easily, I think. I feel so much guilt that I abandon the ship. When he keep on pushing me on where, why I go. I really don't know what to do or say. I know 'bb' don't trust what I say. Maybe I'm not a good liar. I seldom lie.
Stress and tension increases when 'bb' ask 'kl' to talk to me. Pressure from those unexpected loso people and guilt over 'bb' is making me 'pek chek'. Anyway, 'kl' talks isn't as effective as 'bb'. His offer of promotion and increment in March next year doesn't really attracts me. Maybe I'm a weirdo. Rejecting promotion and increment all the time. Haha..
But he do make me feel more pressured. I cry that night. I feel suffocated and lost. One of the unexpected someone msn me and reminded me again. I burst out and nag back telling him don't remind me anymore. It's easier to say than done. I've had enough of this reminder.
The next day, talk to 'bb' again. My decision is firm. I want to explore more and I do not want to dissapoints 'old man'. But I know this will dissapoint 'bb'. But on the other way, I'm not directly reporting to 'bb' and since my direct boss doesn't stop me but instead encourage and say something like that, it makes no turning back for me. 'bb' ask if there's anything he can do. Well, really nothing. He can't ask people don't remind me of what to say or not to say. He can't change who I'm to report to. Or can he? And he can't do anything to make me break my promise. Well, it's over liao.

Well, I hope 'bb' don't get angry at me for abandoning the ship at this point of time. In future, if one day, he needs someone to work with him again (as long in Kuching la), I will not hesitate to help him with one condition - directly reporting to him. lol .. He is a good boss and I learn a lot from him. I won't reject to learn more from him again in the future if it's God's will. Really thank him for trying to retain me. He makes me feel important for a while. Hehehe...

Anyway, whoever read this, hope they keep it to themselves la. If old man or those surprise caller knows, I'll get hours of nagging - AGAIN. I don't need anymore one on one talk with anyone here or there or where ever..The end.

29.10 - Pisseddddddd

Pissed


I couldn't say more but I'm pissed.

What einstein want? What is in his head? What is his direction?

Hiring - First, there's so many confusing thing about hiring people. First like this, then like that. Why can't he finalized all and tell us? Why is he telling us what to be done, then suddenly few days later, some other stuff pops up? I'm dissapointed

Passdown - first, tell me passdown to xx and yy. Then, ask my opinion if its ok. I give my opinion. For me, I believe someone internal should take part also. And I suggest ck. He tell me not possible. Fine. So Jk, Ja and Ib in the picture. But I know that some are not happy. Then he say he will lead and Ib be the main person in future. Fine. And now telling me that its ck and ib. I ask if this is confirm. He say bb say so and bb already talk to ck. But I did ask ck and he doesn't want it as he is now doing 2 things. einstein say bb already talk to ck.

Fine. So discussion of wat to give to ck and ib. I propose to give baby w to ck. He say bb say baby w give to ib. Fine. Then discuss again about who take wat baby. At the end, he ask 'do u think ck can handle it'. Huh? I thought its finalized and thats what bb wants? And he say 'no, bb leave it to u?'. What? Which is correct? First, you say bb say baby w give to ib and now u say the arrangement up to me. Which is correct?

Then I call up ck and ask when I can discuss. His expression is 'haa?'. I ask him did bb talk to you. He say no. And I ask again did anyone talk to you about this. He say 'you are the first'. What the .....?? I tell einstein. Then he reply, maybe bb is busy and had not talk to him yet. But you just tell me that bb already talk to him! And now you tell me that he haven't talk to him ??? I don't care. ck and ib. so be it. I've started to put ck in the loop but he felt lost already because he didnt get any instruction while I proceed with the instruction.

Come on lah .. Please be firm.

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